Since this is the last post, I thought maybe I’ll write something more personal. Something about myself which most people may not see.

What was your first impression of me? After interacting with me for some time, what’s your perception of me? I guess probably, most people would describe me as cheerful and optimistic, and probably easily tickled because I laugh a lot.

Truth time. I’m an emotional person. I have a passion for dance and a love for animals.

When I was young, in primary school, I would say I was quite self conscious because I’m born with a cleft lip and palate. So I had quite a number of surgeries since young. The following definition comes from Wikipedia.

Cleft lip (cheiloschisis) and cleft palate (palatoschisis) (colloquially known as harelip), which can also occur together as cleft lip and palate, are variations of a type of clefting congenital deformity caused by abnormal facial development during gestation. A cleft is a fissure or opening—a gap. It is the non-fusion of the body’s natural structures that form before birth. A cleft lip or palate can be successfully treated with surgery soon after birth. Cleft lips or palates occur in somewhere between one in 600-800 births.

Many teased me about my mouth and I often thought to myself, “Do I really look like a monster or ghost or some ugly creature?” But as I grew older (secondary school onwards), I began to accept the fact and live with it. So what if some people looked down on me just because I’m different? Laughing off ugly comments does solve the problem (this probably led to me being easily tickled now). And I’m glad now that I’m different because it made me a stronger person.

Why do I say I’m actually an emotional person? I cry at the smallest of things. When I watch a sad drama, I cry non-stop. When really nice things occur to me, I’ll be touched to the point that I’ll tear or even cry. When I walk past wakes at void decks, even when I don’t know the one who passed away, it’ll leave me in tears.

Just recently, about 4 months ago, my grandmother passed away. She was the one I was closest to on earth and you can imagine the way I reacted. Suicidal thoughts passed through my mind, especially in the first 3 days of her death. It felt like nothing else matters anymore. If not for the comfort my dear colleagues gave me everyday, I may have done something unimaginable or just go into depression. Even till now, I cry almost everyday because of the incident. In my opinion, it is still the best way to relieve the stress from within and prevent myself from going into depression. Most of you would not even think I’m like that since I always seem so bubbly in school.

I guess being born differently made me see the world from a different perspective and to feel for everything on earth. This actually explains my love for animals. I joined animal activist groups and volunteered at the birdpark and zoo when I was in secondary school. Furthermore, I get agitated when I hear of animals getting abused and once, I approached a group of boys who were trying to step on a cat and reasoned to them that their actions were wrong and that I could report them for animal abuse. I didn’t care whether they’ll bash me up or whatsoever. They were rather stunned by me at that point of time because I was only about secondary 1 while they seemed like young adults, probably of university age. That is how far I’d go for animals.  

I guess most of my friends would know that one of the things I enjoy most in life is dance. Since young, I’ve learnt many kinds of dances, including ballet, contemporary, modern, Chinese and so on. Dance allows me to let my emotions flow. Whenever I feel sad or angry, the best way to calm down is to go to dance class and just let dance bring all my troubles away. Not a method which most people would use isn’t it?

This week in class, we learnt about mass media and the theories.

Let me take a news report for example.

Hurricane Rick strengthens to Category Four
Posted: 17 October 2009 2205 hrs

MIAMI: Hurricane Rick churned in the Pacific Ocean Saturday strengthening to an “extremely dangerous” Category Four storm, the US National Hurricane Center said.

Rick was gathering strength off Mexico’s Pacific coast, with maximum sustained winds roaring at near 135 miles (215 kilometers) per hour.
At 1015 GMT, Rick’s center was 255 miles (410 km) southwest of the resort town of Acapulco, southern Mexico.
The hurricane was moving toward the west-northwest near 12 miles (19 km) per hour, according to the Miami-based center.
It was expected to begin make a sharp turn north by Tuesday, cutting toward Mexico’s Baja Peninsula.

US forecasters said residents should monitor the hurricane’s progress.
The center said outer rainbands associated with the storm were already approaching Mexico’s southern coast and would likely continue to affect the area on Saturday.
The seventh hurricane of the eastern north Pacific 2009 season, Rick comes on the heels of Tropical Storm Patricia, which last week placed Los Cabos on Baja’s southern tip under a state of emergency, before petering out.
The peninsula was battered in early September by Hurricane Jimena, which ripped the roofs off houses and caused floods that killed at least one person.
- AFP/yb

This was reported on Channel News Asia just yesterday.

To me, the mass media serves as a useful channel to inform people around the world about what is happening to the rest of the world. Relating to what we learnt in class, this would be surveillance, a function of the media.

With relation to this report, the residents who are living around the area in the affected area of Mexico can then choose to make their own decisions of whether to move away temporarily or to stay as they monitor the progress of the hurricane. This brings us to my next point. We can relate this to the LIMITED EFFECTS THEORY. Viewers sought out media messages according to their own needs. For example, the residents in Mexico would pay more attention to the news regarding the impending disaster. However, they can make their own decisions whether to move away or to stay on. This shows us that audiences are active and have the ability to resist media messages.

In contrast, I think the POWERFUL EFFECTS THRORY does not apply to the modern world. Audiences are no longer passive receivers of mass media messages because they are becoming more educated, and hence, better informed. However, I think that the mass media is still influential and affects the way people behave and think.

Next, I would like to talk about ATTITUDINAL BARRIERS TO INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION.

 

In India, there have been recent campaigns with regards to transsexuals. It is no longer a crime to be one if you’re in India. What do you think about this?

I suppose most of us would say that transsexuals are not normal. However, I think that the reason behind it is that we share different cultures. Stereotypes and prejudices of these transsexuals cause us not to accept them as another human being, who just thinks differently from us. This makes intercultural communication difficult because we cannot accept a culture that is different from ours. Maybe we could use mass media to socialise viewers into accepting these transsexuals eventually.

Just 2 weeks ago, I watched a programme on Channel NewsAsia named “Amazing Asia”. That episode featured an unusual indigenous tribe of the Yunnan province of China, the Mosuo people.

 

 

We learnt that groupthink is “a mode of thinking that people engage in when they are deeply involved in a cohesive in-group, when members’ strivings for unanimity override their motivation to realistically appraise alternative courses of action”.

Two very interesting ways of thinking of the Mosuo tribe:

1) Women are the ones who head the family, go out to work while the males stay home to look after children.

2) There are no marriages in this tribe.

 

Families are organised into maternal clans, where the matriach makes decisions regarding the division of work and income within the family. Men in the Mosuo tribe have no authority to make important decisions. 

The institution of marriage as we know it does not exist in the Mosuo culture. Instead, they practice “walking marriages”, where women will invite men to their houses at night to have sex and then by morning, the men will return home. They can begin or end their relationship at any time, and are allowed as many lovers as they wish. In these relationships, there is no formality. The children in this tribe are raised by the mother’s family and they will never know who their father is.The absence of paternal relations has done away with domestic conflicts with in-laws, a common source of conflict in our society.

If let’s say, any one of us have to try staying with the Mosuo tribe for maybe a period of 6 months, we will definitely find ourselves not being able to fit into their culture. This is probably because of the way we are socialised.

In this aspect, I personally feel that no amount of communication will change the way the Mosuo people look at relationships. I am quite surprised that the Mosuo tribe is able to hold on fast to their values and beliefs even though the rest of the world has been modernising.

Although I think that there is nothing wrong with the values and beliefs of this minority group and how they behave, I highly doubt they will be able to sustain their survival in time to come.

This is where we can apply the methods of combating groupthink. The best way in this case, would be to send people to educate the tribe that they have to be open to alternative decisions and reviews in order to improve their lives and to ensure the future survival of their group.

I believe most of you would know about Fann Wong and Christopher Lee’s wedding just days ago!

You must be thinking why I chose this as the topic for this blog post. Since our communications class is on the topic of relationships and interpersonal communication, I decided to use this as my blog topic for this post.  

First, watch this interview with both of them. I’m sorry the videos are mostly in mandarin.

We can see that both of them are so similar yet so different. In this case, interpersonal communication is very important because when both parties are very busy, communication will keep them going. They showed us the importance of relationship maintenance, in that they also have conflicts with one another, with one that even lasted for 2 months. Thus, I feel that in any relationship, both verbal and non-verbal communication is very important because that is the only way which you can convey your feelings and thinking and try to resolve differences.

Also, I think that they are quite an unconventional couple. Why do I say that? Because in our society here, many males do not like to be with females who are more competent than them. That’s the way we are socialised. Yet, Christopher chose Fann, who in many ways at work, is much better than him because she stepped onto the international stage.

We see oculesics, haptics and proxemics in this interview. Oculesics, the way they gaze at one another, sometimes not even having to say anything but the other party would undersand. Haptics, the touch. And proxemics, the distance/space between them. All these show clearly the level of closeness between them.

 

After 9 long years, they finally progressed to marriage. It’s really very touching in my opinion. I’ll include the videos of their wedding day below!

What do you feel after watching these videos? Surreal? Blissful? Definitely!!

Now, relating this to what we have learnt during our COM101 class. This is where the Knapp Model of Relational Development comes into play, although I think that stages 6-10, that is the coming apart is not going to happen.

Let’s analyse the stages.

Stage 1(Initiating):  Stage 1 being the initial stage where there was screening and filtering, where Fann mentioned that her initial impression of Christopher was “Why does this person like to play so much?” 

Stage 2(Experimenting): Because of work, they had to spend a lot of time together. For filming of Return Of The Condor Heroes (神雕侠侣), they practically spent 20 hours together everyday overseas for filming. This is where they looked out for one another and this encouraged self disclosure. However, they did not get together until the filming of Looking For Stars (星锁).

Stage 3(Intensifying): Increased commitment, awareness and participation, which I feel led to people teasing them and rumours flying around.

Stage 4(Integrating): This is where they officially announced to the world “We are a couple!”

Stage 5(Bonding): This is the stage where they are at right now, that is marriage. This formalises the obligation and commitment.

Hope you’ve enjoyed the videos and my analysis!

 Recently I visited the exhibition held at the national library. It’s held from 3 September to 15 October 2009 so you can still go if you are interested.

The exhibition is named ” COPING WITH VULNERABILITY: THE FIRST 50 YEARS (POSTERS FROM OUR PAST)”        

This exhibition shows us a brief but vivid glimpse of the recurring theme of vulnerability that underlines the survival of Singapore.

Posters have been acting as mirrors and visual records of our culture and history. Posters have been employed by governments and many organisations to convey messages, be it war, peace, propaganda, healthcare and so on. Also, posters are also effective communication tools in promoting causes and speaking directly to the public.

There have been evidence that posters were used as communication tools since the 15^th century.

And I think posters are examples of excellent NON-VERBAL COMMUICATION.

Posters reconfirm with us the characteristics of non-verbal communication. They are receiver oriented (where receivers will attach meanings to the non-verbal cues), normative and idiosyncratic in interpretation (where certain cues represent socially agreed upon or culturally defined meanings) and subjective (because these non-verbal cues will depend very much on how the beholder interprets it).

Here I included the photos of the posters which I took. Do have a look!

Important messages are disseminated by the government to the public through posters which act as a visual medium and administrative tool.

Posters used over the past years!

 

The following three are posters which provoked considerable public and international reactions in earlier times.

“Girl or Boy, Two is Enough”- used by the government embarked on a Stop-At-Two  policy and used it as a way of conveying the message that two children is enough as they feared that unchecked population could strain the country’s limited resources. This policy is in conflict with the beliefs of certain religions where birth control is not allowed. Hence, became controversial.

 

 As for this, “Males with long hair will be attended to last” – In a bid to stop males from keeping long hair, this poster was introduced by the government. Males artistes with long hair at that point of time, were not allowed to appear on television. This poster is very informative and shows a definitive meaning of long hair.

 

Next up will be regarding WATER.

 In order to promote the conservation of water, these two following posters were used.

Using camel as a symbol (because it is a fact which is agreed upon that camels use little water).

 

As for this, I feel that pathos was being used here. Using a young child to evoke emotions in the public to save water.

 

 ”What Would You Defend?” posters have been used to create a common awareness that national security is very important, especially for Singapore.

Military Defence

 Civil Defence

Defend your friends

 Defend your family

 

Another very important section is on public health. Posters used in this section are mainly using pathos to convey the meaning across. For example, showing something disgusting that will happen  if you don’t take care of your own health.

Just to show a few.

Posters for discouraging smoking show the ill effects that smoking has on people around you and on yourself.

 

“Marriage Parenthood Package” uses symbols (cartoons) to encourage people to give birth to more children, showing the happiness of parents with more children.

I watched Get Rea! on Channel News Asia on Monday.

That episode talked about marital rape. It’s actually not something which many people comprehend or want to talk about.

So what actually is marital rape?

Marital rape is a term used to describe sexual acts committed without a wife’s consent and/or against her will by the woman’s husband. He may use physical force, threats of force to her or another person or implied harm based on prior assaults, causing a woman to fear that physical force would be used if she resists.

They interviewed 2 women who had been victims of marital rape.

1st interviewee: Her husband forced sex on her. She just did it for fear that he’ll use physical force on her if she resisted. She did not know that he had sexual diseases until one of the women he had an affair with outside the marriage caught it and made it known to her.

2nd interviewee: She was a victim of both marital rape and abuse. She called the police but advice was only given with regards to the abuse. Nothing was done on the part of marital rape. Although she applied for the Protection Order, she lived in fear for a year before the order was issued. Eventually, she decided to file for divorce.

Both interviewees mentioned that initially, marital rape did not cross their minds as many females were brought up to believe that sex is expected in marriage. In my opinion, this is where cognitive schemata (the mental framework that we have developed over time) come into play. Although many females have been socialised to believe that this is expected of them, I feel that it is something which they can overcome by verbal communication techniques. The advice from both women is to speak up, overcome yourself and say “No” to marital rape and take action. Verbal communication in this case is very important because other than verbalising your opinions, the other party will never know what you are thinking although both are sharing an intimate relationship.

Stereotypes about women and sex cause many wrong perceptions and miscommunication. For example, women enjoy forced sex, women say “no” when they really mean “yes” and it’s a wife’s duty to have sex with her husband continue to be reinforced in our culture even though the world is modernising. Such stereotypes mislead men into believing that they should ignore a woman’s protests and mislead women into blaming themselves if their husbands force sex on them.

In normal cases, in Singapore, when a male rapes a female, he may be sentenced to up to 20 years imprisonment. However, when marital rape occurs in Singapore, the male does not face any legal charges. Hong Kong and Thailand have criminalised marital sex. Should Singapore do likewise? I strongly agree to criminalising marital rape. That is the only way for women to protect herself when she is forced to have sex. However, there are also disadvantages of criminalising marital rape. As there is no physical evidence for marital rape, ex-wives who want a higher compensation during a divorce may use that even if it’s untrue. I think it is fair enough to criminalise marital rape but judges will have to treat that law with discern so that people will not take advantage of it.

During the Prime Minister’s (PM) speech on 16th August 2009, Mr Lee Hsien Loong spoke at great length about the many issues in Singapore. One part which caught my attention was the part relating to our society, touching on issues like racial and religious harmony and social cohesion.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/nd09/rally_english.htm#pt3

PM Lee emphasised the need for Singaporeans to maintain social cohesion, identifying racial and religious harmony as the most dangerous fault-line in our society. Indeed, I strongly agree that Singaporeans should never take for granted our racial and religious harmony here in Singapore. In order for us to maintain this peace and harmony which we have achieved over the past 40 years, communication between all the different groups play a significant role.

With relation to two of Francis Bacon’s Four Idols (or distortions), Idols of the cave and Idols of the marketplace comes into play.

Idols of the cave refer to the distortions, personal prejudices and beliefs. We have to put aside these and the stereotypical opinions we have of different races and religions here, and to develop a deeper understanding of each. In this case, tolerance of one another’s culture and practices is very important and must not be overlooked. Taking the example which PM Lee highlighted in his speech, there was a case where a Malay family booked a void deck for a wedding and a Chinese family insisted on holding their funeral there. In the end, the Malay family gave in to the Chinese family. This is a perfect example of tolerance. What would you have done if you were a member of the Malay or Chinese family? If tolerance were non-existent in these kinds of situations, in serious cases, might even lead to racial riots.

Idols of the marketplace refer to the use of language. Although we experience a reasonable amount of freedom in Singapore, we must pay attention to how we phrase our sentences, especially when expressing opinions relating to racial or religious issues.

Other than face to face communication between people, another source of communication would definitely be the media. New websites sprout out every single day. However, with reference to a report on 9th September 2009, the mainstream media still holds ground as a dominant source of information.

http://http://www.channelnewsasia.com/cna/cgi-bin/search/search.pl

I strongly feel that we should still rely on traditional mass media when we want to get information instead of retrieving information from websites where even the source of information is not properly stated. Our mainstream television and newspapers are still providing us with reliable and sensible information, without taking an exaggerated view of issues. In my opinion, this is something we should treasure this because in countries where there is complete freedom of speech and writing, even traditional mass media become unreliable because many will express their own feelings, which are perhaps in most cases, biased. Some people might think that the censorship in Singapore is too strict, but without it, our society would probably end up in chaos.